The ugly truth

Today I sit here perplexed. I opened my computer to post about a photographer's launch party I attended and post lots of photos and I can't think of a thing to write about it. My heart is heavy.

This blog is personal. It is a journey through my life as I pursue my dream of photography. Today is personal.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am the worst liar ever- you can tell I've lied as soon as the words come out of my mouth based solely by the expression written on my face. I cry...a lot. I cry during movies, tv shows, even commercials. I cry when someone else is going through something. I cry when I'm mad. I hate that the most. I cry when I become overwhelmed. I cry when I can't think clearly and my emotions are so foggy I have no idea which way is right and which is left.

Today I cried.

If I'm really honest, I miss God. I have been so busy that since the start of 2010 I haven't spent any time with Him, in His presence. I have made a mess of things and now I have no idea where to go...except back into the arms of God. So this morning I sat down with my Bible and tried to pray, tried to read, and almost immediately my mind would wander off as I thought of everything I still need to do...the decisions I have to make this weekend, what to do with this business, how to do it, when to do it, where will I make money, I need to clean the kitchen, I have no clean clothes, wait, I am suppose to be praying, Hi God, please help me, I need you, I love you, I pray for those in Haiti, wow what a tragedy, oh I need to make a return, I have to mail this package, I need to post pictures, wait I'm praying- okay God I'm back...this is too distracting, maybe I should read some of the Bible...............

In an effort to continue to distract myself further, I called a dear friend of mine. We spoke for close to an hour. I poured my heart out. All of my frustrations, questions, desires, goals...all.of.it. I just let it out. And she listened. She listened as I discussed a step of faith I need to make in pursuit of photography, my frustrations in starting a business, the still small voice I can't hear in the midst of so much noise in my life, and the simplicity of knowing God.

And before I knew it, I began to feel peace. I began to long for time with God. I was anxious to get off the phone and pursue Him. To build my faith on His word. Faith that I am in God's hands, He will lead me...if I let Him, He will take care of me, and most of all He loves me. Despite myself.

FAMILY: Craig, Unchong and Emma

I met Craig back when we were just a couple of young kids hanging out with everyone all hours of the night. Back when it was cool to stay out all night. When getting up bright and early didnt matter so much, as long as we were having fun. Our "crew" usually ended up at Cafe Intermezzo or Waffle House, depending on how trendy we felt. Sometimes it was even both. Ah yes, we were cool.

I remember one night few of us got together at Barnes N Noble (daring change, I know) and Craig told us someone was meeting him. That someone was Unchong. I'm not sure how long they had been talking before, but that night I noticed something different about Craig, something hard to pinpoint, but a knowing that his world was about to change. Since that night, Unchong was with him whenever we hung out. And not long after, she would become his wife.

Its funny how things change over time. To think about the past and to see us all now. Our hopes, dreams, and wishes, all coming to life.

Here are some pictures from their family session I did back in December. Craig, Unchong, and their little girl Emma, who I must say...is simply adorable.